So much wasted time of mediocre living only to realize that trust is a joy comparable to none.  When you finally make that choice to trust the words of your Father, even when his promise to you seems like it would be a curse, there is peace like you have never known. 

I had been fighting.  I didn't want to believe you because the thing you were trying to bless me with is the very thing I threw away, saying, "I don't want it!  I don't believe you can change it, and I don't want to hang my hopes there!  I have done it for too long now."  But then in my mind I saw myself believing, and hoping.  I had a vision of what it would be like to rest in you--to have a center of total peace and a countenance that draws people--so I made a decision.  I chose to believe what I thought was your voice, and Peace came over me like never before.  It was a solid confidence that my heart's desire would come true, almost as though it had already happened.

Life before was a pendulum of sorts.  Joy came to visit, but sorrow lived here.  And my strength was waning.  no focus, no purpose, no goal.  I was fading away.  But I came to trust Him... now emotions are a shallow wave on the top of the water and confidence is the depth of it.  I am growing, getting stronger, and completely in love with my Father, God.  Before I had only known what I had heard of it.  Now I live it, and there is no turning back.